UPDATED, ANALYSISIS: The upcoming Star Wars movie is mean to white people

Posted by
Twitter ButtonGoogle+ ButtonFacebook ButtonPinterest Button

Green person says, Rage Furby Don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side.
Green person says, “Rage Furby, Don’t give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side.”
Chuck C. Johnson, unconcerned by his legal setbacks, shares more of his deep thoughts about racial matters. We have our own version, and we like ours better.

UPDATE: Johnson now claims his post was all a ruse to trick his critics into thinking he was a white racist who can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction, or Star Trek and Star Wars.

(By the way, most of this post was an elaborate troll that ensnared lots of my critics.)

So funny. We still like our version better.

Everybody is looking forward to the upcoming Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens movie.

Almost everybody.

Some white boys are upset that the new movie, directed by a Jew, is not white enough. And I’m one of them, because I need the clicks. I may even boycott it, like the other white boys who need a life. Or maybe I’ll go and just not tell them, so they don’t kick me out of the club.

Not only is this new movie not white enough, it portrays white people as the enemy. Everyone knows white people have never done anything bad.

Plus, there are a lot of actors from loser nations, like Nigeria, Ireland and Canada. Since when did any of them go into space, huh?

Let’s review some of the racial aspects of the previous Star Wars movies.

  • A mulatto Lando Calrissian sells out his white (and Wookiee) friends, only to change his mind later
  • The black Mace Windu — what the hell does he do?
  • Jar Jar Binks, an amphibious Steppin Fetchit, whose vote opens the way to the Empire taking over the Republic

You get my drift?

And who are the heroes? White people! (Plus a wookiee and a couple of droids, all played by white people.)

Ah, those were the days!

[Now we quote the inimitable Chuck, since he puts things so succinctly.]

Star Trek (sic) is a productive (sic) of a white America whether or not we want to accept it. The action figures that made George Lucas a billionaire were purchased by suburban white families.

Black families don’t buy action figures for their kids. It says so in The Bell Curve, which changed my life. In one of the footnotes.

Now let’s look at the lineup for Star Wars VII: it’s all foreigners and dark people.

[Direct quote again]

It was white and Jewish-American nerds that put us into space and yet it’s Guatemalan-born (Oscar Isaac), Mexico-born Kenyan (Lupita Nyong’o), and the British-born white girl (Daisy Ridley) and the British-born Nigerian (John Boyega) who get to fight for the Rebel Alliance.

And people hated the prequels because there were no Americans in the main cast. Not because the little kid couldn’t act worth beans, and the plots and dialog were silly. Take a look: Canadian Hayden Christensen plays [the older] Anakin Skywalker. Irishman Liam Neeson plays the forgetable Qui Gon Jinn. The Israeli Natalie Portman plays [hot] Queen Amidala. And Scotsman Ewan McGregor plays Obi-Won Kenobi [who formerly was played by an Englishman, but whatever].

Where the fu*k are the Americans? Where are Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, James Earl Jones (who is black but that’s OK here)? They were the archetypal Star Wars heroes — Americans! Boo-yah!!

Go USA!! Go white people (sorry JEJ)!! Too bad you are all too old now to be space heroes.

[Direct quote time again. We are not making this up.]

Space belongs to the people smart enough to invent rockets and indoor plumbing. It belongs to a frontier people, thank you very much. And now the frontier is flooded with the Third World, drowning out the ambitions of those white nerds.

There is no room in nearly limitless space for non-white people. How I long for the good old days when only White People went into space, either for real or in the movies. All this multi-cultural stuff threatens our very way of (white) existence, and makes me personally feel uneasy, even though I have a Hot Asian Wife, who’s brown or yellow depending on the lighting.

Besides, I know my white supremacist followers (about the only ones I have left now) would want me to say that.

By the way, let me just say I love Star Wars and Firefly, but Star Trek is totally fascistic, because it has all those different colored people getting along with each other. (And getting it on with each other, too. Eww!) Clearly, the Trek future will require us all to get along, and I’m totally against that.


SECOND UPDATE: According to this article, the whole #BoycottStarWarsVII hashtag skirmish is a hoax, perpetrated by bored otaku with nothing better to do than troll “Social Justice Warriors.” So, either Chuck Johnson is part of this ruse or he got taken in by it.

Related Posts: