EDITOR’S NOTE: Chuck C. Johnson has written yet another lengthy screed, glomming onto the Milo Yiannapoulos Blue Checkmark Tragedy, and predicting the end of Twitter. Here is our abbreviated version for your perusal. Some details may differ from the original.
Why $TWTR is massively overvalued, and what I discovered while trolling
[ED: Yes, he actually wrote that. He admits to being a troll.]
Twitter is smoking a lot of pot. It makes no money, but it’s been around for 9 years. And Dick Costolo sucks at running the company. He blames the trolls, and he even apologized to them.
Wait, I mean he apologized for them.
No, he apologized for letting the trolls like me bully other people.
[ED: Oh, fuck it. We’re not drunk enough to understand it. Here’s the direct quote.]
And it shows. Twitter’s stock is in free fall. The company has no revenues and it’s been around for more than 9 years. Instead of focusing on Twitter’s core problems Costolo has decided that it’s the trolls and his inability to manage them. He even apologized to them, according to The Verge.
We suck at dealing with abuse and trolls on the platform and we’ve sucked at it for years. It’s no secret and the rest of the world talks about it every day. We lose core user after core user by not addressing simple trolling issues that they face every day.
Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, Costolo was fired in July. Or maybe he quit. Same difference. So, why am I mentioning him now? Because I was banned in May! That’s why!
Even Alan Dershowitz has said Twitter shouldn’t have censored me.
The Twitter execs blame their financial problems on me. I mean, trolls like me. But mostly me. Just look at the wonderful stuff I have done.
Outed that Ebola nurse in Dallas.
Outed that guy who had Ebola.
Outed Rolling Stone’s “Jackie” for the lying whatever she is.
This is real journalism, people!! And what do I get for a thank you? Twitter kicked me off forever. And not just my account, but my blog account, and the three new accounts I created in violation of the terms of service, and my friends’ accounts I was using.
I want to stand up for trolls. Troll is the new n-word. It’s just a way to cover up a bad business model — blaming me.
[Direct quote time]
A word on trolling: Forget what you’ve heard about the word “thug” calling someone a troll is the new ‘n-word.’ Like the word gadfly before it “troll” is meant to shut down an argument through dehumanizing someone rather than take someone seriously. It’s an evasion of responsibility rather a recognition that advertising isn’t the proper business model for open protocol based communication platforms.
I have used bombastic, pompous, sarcastic, cutting, bitchy commentary to draw attention to ideas that are not permitted in our discourse by the media cartel. I’ve combined it with one of the best research outfits in the country, built, in large measure. I have deliberately triggered feminists and antagonized black criminals and radicals and media hacks and corrupt politicians. I’ve broken news that’s changed lives and offended all the right people. That is my real thought crime. Taboos are fun to explode and that’s why I created an addictive relationship with so much of my Twitter audience. That’s why you can still see people talking about me and my work over a month after my purging.
After two months, not so much. And now, eight months later, I have dozens of followers on Facebook.
Twitter’s real problem is not trolls, but social justice warriors. You know, the kind of people who get all pissy when white Christian straight males tell everyone else they are inferior.
And who gets censored? Not those SJWs. Oh no! It’s the trolls who get suspended and banned. It’s just so unfair, and Twitter does a shitty job at policing its service. Pretty soon, the only people using the service will be everyone who isn’t a white Christian straight male. How horrible would that be?
But I’ll tell you a secret. The Twitter algorithm never finds Jesus, and also it can be manipulated. I have done it.
[Direct quote again]
I was often paid to tweet by consultants and others who wanted me to affect the Overton window on a policy item. It was a better return on their investment than hiring expensive public relations firms.
And I could create another fake account and do it all over again.
But nevermind, what I really want to say here is that Twitter is doomed. I’ve read all the financial reports, and it’s all vaporware. Twitter is doomed.
[We have taken the liberty here of condensing Johnson’s lengthy financial analysis — which he calls “faggy” — to this pithy sentence. Quite frankly, his analysis: tl;dr.]