BREAKING: Chuck Johnson really really hates Michelle Fields, kisses Trump’s ass

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[Not to be outdone by his previous attempt to malign and discredit former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields, Award Winning Journalist™ and Internet troll Chuck C. Johnson has published yet another potentially libelous diatribe against Fields, whose only major problem appears to be “Reporting While Female.”]

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His hand did not touch her face, so he's innocent! She made it all up!
His hand did not touch her face, so he’s innocent! She made it all up!

Despite being a thorough going, kiss kick ass supporter of The One, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Alberta), I have reached out to the Trump campaign in a vain attempt to be marginally relevant (or at least noticed) and offered to testify (not in court, but you know, like say stuff) against Fields’ credibility since she continues to accuse Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski of assaulting her. And also, she continues to be a girl, so clearly she’s at fault.

I stand ready (if anyone cares — hello? over here!) to turn over all text messages, emails, smoke signals, winks, nudges, sexual fantasies and phone records with Fields to confirm that I believe she is a serial liar with a history of drama seeking behavior upon request by law enforcement. She however does not seek drama when law enforcement does not ask her.

No wait. That didn’t come out right.

Anyway, I’ll share private communications with her with law enforcement, because she’s not a source like that guy who leaked those fake abortion videos to me.

Take a look at this video.

Look at her facial expression. It barely changes. Is this the face of someone who was violently assaulted? No. Of course, she never said she was violently assaulted, but I will. It’s called making a straw man. Google it.

And then, she has the nerve of telling Ben Terris of The Washington Post about it. Terris, a guy who Trump says is a “dishonest reporter.” There you go. Case closed.

But since I’m all worked up about it, let me continue.

Fields must be lying, because I don’t like the way she talks.

The bruises? How did they get there? Could it be someone grabbed her? It couldn’t be so simple.

Terris’ investigating knows no limits. Do you know he’s even investigated Trump’s golf game?

Why does drama follow Michelle Fields? Why did I just mention bruises and Trump’s golf game. I have no idea. Shut up.

I know all about Fields, from her days in the Young Americans for Freedom, until now. Yeah. I’m like an expert on Michelle Fields.

This story could have been swept under the rug, but noooo! She has to go blab about it to her Washington Post friend, and tweet about it. She’ll probably even leak the internal conversations of Breitbart employees to social justice warrior publications, who will mock them or worse yet, publish them for sane people to read. Traitor! I hates her, preciousss. Nasty little girl reporter, she is!

She used to work for Students for Liberty. She used to work for The Daily Caller (like me!). She used to work for PJ Media. She accuses me of hacking her computer because I called her directly instead of replying to her LinkedIn request. I mean, what’s spooky about that? Certainly not my calling her bosses and telling them to make her stop.

And now she used to work for Breitbart. Like me!

See a pattern? We both leave jobs, but she does it with more drama. I do it to build my media empire, like GotNewsDotCom and LeechSearchr, I mean Wesearchr. Why does she get all the attention and not me? It’s not fair!

So, I hates her.

Why should we believe a woman?

I mean, why should we believe a woman who has no evidence? Setting aside the videos, the eyewitnesses and the finger-shaped bruises on her arm, that is.

But many do, because they want to hurt Trump at all costs. And also say bad things about me. Take a gander.

This Chuck Johnson post Lewandowski just tweeted is straight up disgusting. Foul, sexist, awful stuff.

— Alexis Levinson (@alexis_levinson) March 10, 2016

Social Justice Warrior, I spit at thee!

Story that Michelle Fields is Mossad plant in 3..2..1 https://t.co/5Lqxn5DYCK

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) March 10, 2016

As if I would subscribe to conspiracy theories! Hah!

Conservative civil war update: Trump campaign and Chuck Johnson are now in alliance against Breitbart.

— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) March 10, 2016

False! Not Breitbart. Just Michelle Fields. Oh, and Ben Shapiro.

Even the Toronto Star noticed me, and listed me before Stormfront, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter! Whee! I’m on top of the world, ma!

Donald Trump is a combination of Infowars, Gamergate, Chuck C. Johnson, Stormfront, Hannity, Coulter, and the hardliners at Breitbart.

— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) March 13, 2016

And now let me talk at length about Ben Shapiro, who has a tenuous connection to Breitbart and who has come to Fields’ side, and accused Trump and me of being anti-Semitic.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Let’s not and say we did. Soon after Chuck published his blog, Shapiro and Fields both resigned from the Breitbart staff. He will probably take credit for it. Just wait.]

And speaking of conspiracy theories, it’s clear that Breitbart’s and Trump’s enemies are seizing upon this incident to further their agendas, while I am not. Breitbart spokesman Kurt Bardella has resigned. He used to work someplace else, too, so there must be something up with that.

Like, how come I’m not still at the Sun, or The Daily Caller or Breitbart’s shop? To further my media empire, of course!

Meanwhile, our sources at Fox News say Megyn Kelly is preparing something bad about Trump. Good luck with that, Megyn!

And then there’s Jamey Weinstein, Fields’ boyfriend. He’s even on this spin campaign. We’ve heard that Fields, Weinstein, Terris and Benny Johnson are all longtime friends. There’s something up with that, and if I could have joined that little clique, I would know what it was.

It was Johnson who published the story that Fields was filing a criminal complaint. Could it be Fields told him? It just seems so convenient. I only get hot nwes tips from anonymous wackos.

All of this detracts from the serious work being done to vet Donald Trump, which I’ll get around to doing just as soon as someone pays me money to do it.

If you want to support citizen journalism, and help me make my house payment, consider donating money. Please.

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