Belated retrospective, part 2: a one+ year retrospective of

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To commemorate GotNwes’ 15-month anniversary, we continue with our Top Ten list of posts.

#6 “New media” disruptor dead in water 21 days (June 26, 2015)

Loss of his Twitter access the month before must have decimated the GotNewsDotCom business model (see above, #4), because the “new media disruptor” website went silent for three weeks. It awoke from its slumber to spew forth the white-splaining of Dylann Roof mentioned in #5.

But $66 mil, on the other hand ...
But $66 mil, on the other hand …
Johnson has boasted that he intends to create his own media empire, like Joe Pulitzer or Oprah Winfrey. OK, probably not Oprah Winfrey. Twitter was a tool by which he gained notoriety and attention, and which Johnson used to drive traffic to his Google ad- and donation-supported blog, GotNewsDotCom. [NOTE: We spell it out that way, so readers do not confuse it with our own It also used be the handle for the website’s Twitter feed, now also swimming with the fishes.]

In our June 26 post, we hypothesized that the canny Johnson was keeping quiet because he had just filed a $66 million libel/defamation suit against Gawker media. The complaint argued that Gawker’s reportage of the floor-pooping and sheep-poking rumors had cost Johnson business and harmed his reputation and his finances. So, we figured GNDC was moribund as a ploy to demonstrate the alleged harm done by Gawker.

Nope. We was wrong.

As a cornerstone of his would-be media empire, GNDC has a surprisingly random publication schedule. There may be two or three grammatically challenged posts in one day, or weeks may pass before anything appears. Most recently, GNDC went silent for a month.

Despite bragging he has an army of 5,000 nerd researchers backing GNDC, it’s pretty obvious it’s a one-man operation, and when that one man is busy doing other stuff, the blog gets no attention. Pulitzer’s rags came out every day. Just sayin’.

#7 The GNDC Michael Brown vendetta and grifting scheme (May 10, 2015)

If some future communications major wanted the perfect example of the Johnson model of journalism, it would be his obsession with the probably non-existent juvenile records of Michael Brown, the young, unarmed African-American shot dead by a white officer in Ferguson, MO.

no such file exists
Johnson was absolutely convinced that Brown had it coming, and went on a victim-shaming campaign on Twitter and at GNDC. Based on some source he said he had in law enforcement, Johnson was sure that, as a teenager, Brown had murdered someone, and made it his mission to get Brown’s juvenile records opened. He solicited an undisclosed amount of money to take it to the courts. He tweeted at one point he had received $15,000 to support the legal battle.

The Missouri Supreme Court ended that charade by denying Johnson access. Judging from a handwritten note by one court clerk on a legal brief, it’s likely Brown had no juvie record at all, so there was nothing to open. See the image, above left.

Johnson has also used crowdfunding sites to raise money for his “research” and legal efforts. Besides the now-closed GoFundMe campaign used for the Brown case, he has a $40,000 GoFundMe campaign for a Hillary Clinton “secret” oppo research project ($1,055 raised to date) and a $10,000 campaign for a legal defense fund that is no longer needed ($4,425 raised to date).

All this while bragging he has billionaire friends who are interested in his many blowing-up-the-media schemes, jetting around the country to various right-wing events, and claiming he’s bet $7,500 on Ted Cruz to win the presidential election.

As murky as his finances are, there’s a clear pattern to Johnson’s vendettas. Victims who are not white, not straight, and/or not male are always at fault. Perpetrators who are white, straight, male and/or conservative are always innocent. People Johnson admires, such as Andrew Breitbart (pbuh), Alan Dershowitz, Ted Cruz, and most recently Donald Trump, can do no wrong.

But associates of Johnson are not necessarily spared his ire. He turned on gun-lover and fellow Breitbartian Dana Loesch and the woman she championed, Holly “Hobby Lobby” Fisher, faster than an F1 car in a hairpin curve. Michelle Fields, another Breitbartian, made the mistake of accusing a male Trump associate of assaulting her at a rally and ended up on Johnson’s shit list. We’ll note that the three are all female.

The exception to this pattern is Ben Shapiro, whom Johnson describes as a former friend. Shapiro made the grave error of supporting Fields and worse yet, criticizing the media operation founded by the sainted prophet Breitbart (pbuh). That Shapiro is Jewish is probably only a coincidence, because Dersh is, too.

#8 Does Chuck C. Johnson hate Muslims? (Feb. 14, 2015)

In the Manichaean world of Chuck C. Johnson, there are good people and bad people. Good people are generally conservative straight white Christian men. Bad people are everyone else. A bad person is even more guilty if they happen to be victims of crimes by the good people, as happened in Chapel Hill, NC.

Three young Muslims got into some altercation about a parking space with an angry white guy, who settled the argument by shooting them dead.

Johnson then set out to prove the victims had it coming by implying they, one of their fathers and their religious community were associated with terrorists, or had committed some crimes. Therefore, by his reasoning, their deaths were no great loss.

Our post listed the numerous Islamophobic tweets Johnson had made up to that date, which make his Islamophobia quite clear.

#9 Chuck Johnson’s lawyer files 111-page response to Gawker dismissal motion (Oct. 17, 2015)

Themis is stifling her laughter here
Themis is stifling her laughter here
In June Johnson filed a $66 million libel/defamation complaint against Gawker Media and two of its reporters, in St. Louis, MO. Gawker’s lawyers promptly filed two motions, one to dismiss the suit and one to move the venue to either California, Johnson’s residence and place of business, or New York, Gawker’s address of record. It took Johnson and his lawyer some time to construct a reply, and what a reply it was.

Their response was 111 pages long, with more than a hundred “exhibits” appended to the brief. We managed to boil it down to less than 1,500 words, sans exhibits.

As an example, here is the condensed version of the brief’s attempt to explain why the suit was filed in Missouri, of all places.

With no further extensions at their disposal, blogger Chuck C. Johnson and ace lawyer John C. “Jonathon” Burns filed a 111-page response in federal court late Friday to Gawker’s motions to dismiss Johnson’s libel/defamation suit.

Should you want to read this groundbreaking tome, it’s available at Fair warning: Make sure you don’t accidentally spray your drink onto your computer. Swallow before reading.

For those less interested in reading it in its entirety, we now present the copyrighted IANAL GotNwes summary of the not-very-brief brief. Comments in square brackets [] are commentary and are not to be taken as legal advice, or even seriously.

FACTS (pp 2-64)

Gawker is a business.

It makes money by selling ads.

It has 64 million readers each month, about 1 million live in Missouri.

It covered events in Missouri.

As did plaintiff.

It was critical of plaintiff’s coverage.

Also the Cardinals.

This is a clickbait tactic, “an internet publishing shock tactic designed to get a particular large audience to view web content (to drive advertising revenue) through the use of extremely crass insults and dubious sensational claims.”

[We know all about that.]

Gawker tracks its readers using a technology called “cookies” and these cookies allow ads to be targeted to Missouri readers, who like beer. [See footnote.]

Exhibit 91 of this tome was Johnson’s signed affidavit stating for the record that he never pooped on the floor or reamed a sheep, which we reprinted in its entirety separately.

As for the 111-page response, the judge rejected it, had it stricken from the record and admonished Johnson’s lawyer to read the US District Court rule book and resubmit a more concise response that, like, responded to Gawker’s motions. The new response totaled 54 pages, with the damages demanded reduced to $26 million, to no avail.

The case was dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction, which even a non-lawyer could have predicted back in June.

#10 We have IDed Marco Rubio’s alleged mistresses (March 5, 2016)

Coming in at number 10 is a post from this month, parodying Johnson’s breathless claims that former presidential candidate Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) had allegedly had two extra-marital affairs with lobbyists.

So, you  knew all this six year ago?
So, you knew all this six year ago?
Rubio, while white, male, straight and conservative, falls into Johnson’s “bad people” category because he is not Ted Cruz and may even have an active sex life.

GotNewsDotCom trumpeted this news as BREAKING! but one of the alleged affairs has been discussed publicly since 2010, and the other does not seem to be a dealbreaker either. In other words, it was another GNDC nothing-burger, of no importance to anyone but Mr Clean, Chuck Johnson.

In any event, Rubio’s problems were far greater than these alleged affairs.

So there you have it, the top ten hits of

And though we hate to emulate our inspiration, GotNewsDotCom, donations are welcome. Follow this link, or click on the PayPal widget top right or the Bitcoin QR at the bottom of the page. We’ll spend it wisely. Trust us.

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