It’s true. We read all about it on the Twitter account we’re not supposed to have! Ssshh! Don’t tell anyone, or I won’t get any money for the “Reinstate Chuck Johnson’s Twitter Account” campaign.
Rapper Azealia Banks tweeted that Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey (who we hate) was gay for Deray McKesson (who hate even more), and then she deleted it. If we didn’t spend all day monitoring the Twitter account we’re not supposed to have, I’d never have seen it.
And since Banks is such a reliable source, we can confidently say this, because we hate Dorsey and McKesson.
[Direct quote time, sports fans]
So that must mean Dorsey kicked me off Twitter for his crush, Deray! That’s it! Case solved.
If you like this iron clad reasoning, send money — PayPal, Bitcoin, a paper sack with cash inside, whatever.