ANALYSISIS: Facebook, Vice, clickbait media doomed — click here to read why

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Chucken Little tells the barnyard that Internet media are doomed!
Chucken Little tells the barnyard that Internet media are doomed!
Yes, indeed, the Award Winning Journalist™ and expert analysisisizer Chuck C. Johnson has deposited yet another turd tome predicting the end of every web media enterprise that is not his. So far, he has predicted the end of Gawker Media, Twitter and Netflix, and now he has added Facebook and Vice Media to the list of doomed enterprises.

Ironically, he declares that the end of clickbait websites is nigh, even as he writes doom-and-gloom posts that presumably would attract more clicks if people were not already convinced he’s a total flake.

Notably, Johnson has grievances with all the companies he considers doomed. Twitter banned him last Memorial Day. Facebook has suspended his account twice for 30 days each. Gawker dared report on the rumors that he shat on a dormitory floor while in college and copulated with a sheep as a juvenile, finding no evidence that either occurred.

He hates Vice CEO Shane Smith, probably because Smith (who he claims lied on his résumé) has succeeded as a media mogul whereas Johnson has not. And he scorns Netflix because its CEO wants to help women and non-whites get a leg up in the world. Horrors!

Anyway, Facebook is doomed because they booted Johnson off Facebook — argle bargle censorship, monopoly, argle bargle free speech something something ad revenues declining something something Africans and Asians don’t think like white people.

And Vice is doomed because nobody reads ads anymore, so sensational stories won’t bring in revenue, which is probably why Johnson is constantly begging for donations to GotNewsDotCom (which is not us!), and not running any lame-brained sensational stories anymore.

What is the future for journalism and the news media? Why, with Johnson’s brainchild of a “bounty” smear service, of course.

They're all doomed, except for us!
They’re all doomed, except for us!

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