BREAKING (and fabricated): Some scary Muslims tried to attack Marines, so the #ChapelHillShootings were totes justifiable. QED

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Artist's conception of scary Muslim terrorist coming for our wimmenz
Artist’s conception of scary Muslim terrorist coming for our wimmenz

So, it seems the three kids who were shot to death in Chapel Hill were law-abiding, nice people. But, they were Muslims and @GotNewsDotCom (GNDC) panders to those who hate Muslims, so surely there must be some way to smear these kids. It’s the GNDC business model, which is turning out to be hard to explain in a business license application.

Oh, I’ve got it! We’ll find someone in their mosque’s congregation who did something bad, and use the old “guilt by association” trick ol’ Tailgunner Joe used so well in the 1950s against the Commies. Then, we’ll add in some extra drama, like a non-existent FBI raid, to punch it up a bit. GNDC readers won’t know the difference, because they can barely read as it is.

So, here goes. We’re going to play connect the dots, or how not to construct a logical argument.

  • The dead students were all members of the Islamic Association of Raleigh (IAR).
  • The girls’ father, Dr. Mohammed Abu-Salha, is a member of the IAR, too, but we’ll call him a leader because it sounds more scary. Also, we’ll mention he wrote an article for the controversial IAR newsletter, which is not controversial but as exciting as a church bulletin, but GNDC readers won’t know the difference.
  • In 2012 three members of IAR were convicted of conspiring to attack the Marine base at Quantico. But instead of three, we’ll say several, because it sounds more scary that way. They were all sent to prison, but claimed they were inncoent.
  • Many members of the IAR attended their trial.*
  • Supporters of the three said they were unjustly accused.*
  • Also, another scary Muslim, who taught at an IAR-affiliated school, was arrested in 2012 for plotting to behead our Marines — all of them, by himself, even. He plead guilty.
  • The FBI raided the IAR. This didn’t happen at all, but they do it on TV all the time to add drama and excitement.
  • Abu-Salha is not on record of saying anything against these crimes. That means he encouraged them, and by proxy, so did the IAR.
  • Therefore, whatever happened to his kids and son-in-law is totally justifiable. QED (which is Latin for “I just said I proved my point, so shut up.”)

* NOTE: We have omitted mentioning the IAR helped law enforcement in finding the criminals, because that would detract from the narrative we have created.

Based on our expert application of the DARVO* protocol of criminal investigation, we can’t blame the angry white man who shot those kids dead, but Abu-Salha and the IAR for their complicit involvement in crimes against Our Marines**. (See, we managed to work in love for our serviceman and women there. Gotta appeal to the patriots in the readership.)

**NOTE: We have also omitted mentioning that in fact no Marines were hurt or killed, because it sounds less scary that way.
DARVO = Deny Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender

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