I’ll show you! I’m not going to write anything more until I get Twitter back!

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The parody news site, GotNewsDotCom, has become strangely quiet since its proprietor, Chuck C. Johnson (see file photo, left), lost his Twitter accounts over Memorial Day weekend.

While Johnson sulks in his featureless room at his in-laws’, occasionally bleating “my free speech rights have been trampled!” in radio interviews, the news marches on. China has allegedly hacked into US government computer systems. A darling of the religious right has admitted to feeling up his sisters and their friend while they were sleeping. Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn Jenner. Maggi noodles are no longer available for sale in India.

OK, maybe that last one is not so Earth-shattering.

Where is the hard-hitting independent nwes outlet that existed before the Twitter ban? Did Dick Costolo also take away Johnson’s computer keyboard? Have the enemies of free speech — Johnsonese for exposing the private information of people he doesn’t like and threatening them with exposure online — also deprived him of his blog platform?

Or, has the world’s pre-eminent “nerd researcher” lost his muse?

We can only conclude that Johnson is just refusing to write anything just to show Twitter who’s boss. Once Twitter @support realizes the horrible mistake they made in taking away his favorite toy, they’ll give it back, and maybe throw in a chocolate-chip cookie or two to calm the poor boy down.

It’s gonna be a long wait.


BTW, Johnson has replaced the image accompanying his blogs complaining about the Twitter ban. Instead of an artist’s graphic of hands covering a person’s eyes and mouth, now we have a headshot of Johnson in dark glasses with fake bullet holes in the wall behind him and a black band Photoshopped over his mouth. Going for that martyr image big time.

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