Announcing LeechSearchr, a new kind of nwes agency, now called FreeLoadr

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An Information Marketplace of Sorts

We are looking for a few gullible news people.
(Well, more than a few, so we’ll make more money.)

LeechSearchr is a new model for citizen journalism that uses crowdfunding and crowdsourcing to let any yokel do investigative research and make money. LeechSearchr is a tool for compensating whistleblowers, rumormongers and soreheads, and for making us money while doing jackshit, and a vehicle for exposing the world’s hidden truths and blatant untruths.

LeechSearchr can be used by (lazy) journalists to suck money from their personal audience in order to produce or expose secret information.

We are looking for a few good News Askrs, people who ask questions, who spend all day online surfing the news cycle and who think they can predict what will be valuable news. These people, formerly relegated to mooching off their parents or in-laws, can now be compensated based on performance.

How does LeechSearchr work?

An Approved News Askr creates a Bownty to request some specific information that is of journalistic value, at least as we see it. Such information would ideally be about people we don’t like much.

Evidence that some politician is guilty of having a really small dick
Evidence that some politician is guilty of having a really small dick

Providing the Anser to the requested information results in a financial reward to the ReSearchr providing the Anser and the Askr (and us!), depending on whether enough rubes contribute money.

The Bownty has a Dedline, after which the information is worthless. All really juicy information has an expiration date, after all. In fact, the information might be worthless before the Dedline, but at least then we might get paid some cash.

Bownties are crowdfunded and have a Reserv, a minimum below which the Reserch will die and be forgotten, like a Chuck Johnson GoFundMe project.

Photos or video involving a celebrity scandal, like disco dancing nude
Photos or video involving a celebrity scandal, like disco dancing nude
After an Askr publishes a Bownty, anyone in the world bothering to look at this pinhead website can contribute money towards the Reserv via credit card, PayPal, or Bitcoin. We would of course protect private financial data with the utmost of care. Trust us.

Anyone in the world can be a ReSerchr and submit an Anser to the Bownty, providing documents, video, wild assumptions, fever nightmares, or other evidence that fulfills the conditions of the Bownty.

That’s where we come in, because we’ll be the middlemen (the LeechSearchrs) keeping the Askrs separate from the ReSerchrs. When the Reserv is reached, we’ll start forwarding Ansers to the Askr. They’ll review what’s received and determine if any Anser fulfills the Bownty conditions.

If an Anser is chosen and approved by LeechSearchr’s senior editors (us), the Askr has the right to publish it in the outlet of their choice. If desired, LeechSearchr can help find an appropriate outlet, like on a blog or something.

Once the story has been published, we wait 30 days to ensure that no one has been hoaxed, which is a lot more fun than checking the information before, you know, publishing it, and the Bownty award will be distributed to the Askr and the ReSearchr, less our LeechSearchr cut, of course.

75% of the money goes to the ReSearcher, who provided the Anser, 10% goes to the Askr for writing and promoting the Bownty, and LeechSearchr keeps 15% for site costs, payment processing, overhead and booze.

Which kinda begs the question why an Askr would even bother asking, but that’s our model, so deal with it.

What if the Bownty is never solved?

If the Dedline runs out, all contributors will be able to redistribute the money they donated to a different Bownty of their choice. Except the Bitcoin, which stays with us.

How can Whistleblowrs use LeechSearchr?

Proof of people lying about their weight at a public company
Proof of people lying about their weight at a public company

Since they already know the Anser, Whistleblowrs can create a Bownty that describes the information that is being offered by the Whistleblowr, and set a Reserv funding goal to be met. If contributors meet the Reserv, LeechSearchr will arrange for the information to be published by ourselves or another blog, while of course maintaining the confidentiality of the Whistleblowr and taking our 25% cut.

If you’re a Whistleblowr and you would like to use the unproven, possibly insecure LeechSearchr platform run by people of dubious reliability, please contact us directly at If you lose your job or your life, it’s not our fault, though. OK?

Can I use LeechSearchr to dox or harass people?

No.That’s what Twitter is supposed to be for. #FreeChuck!!

LeechSearchr is a journalistic enterprise (No really. Stop laughing) that requires basically no work by us and which publishes information that gives us woodies. Bownties seeking information that is about people or causes we like will be buried deep down a memory hole.

How can I become an Askr?

There will be a speling test first.

LeechSearchr has been launched, and to keep things manageable we will be selecting only a few Askrs from among those who apply, or in case we get only 3 or 4, all of them. We plan to increase the number of Askrs steadily as the site grows, and our vision is to be fully open to the world, so as to swamp our servers and make shitloads of money off other people’s hard work. Just like Uber.

Here are some examples of Bownties already funded:

These are real ones, not parodies -- Editors
These are real ones, not parodies — Editors

To apply, send an email to and include three examples of Bownties you would like to create on LeechSearchr. If we like them, we’ll be in touch. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Brought to you by NotUpChuck, CEO
and Packsome Dix, CTO.


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